Animal Husbandry

Dear Dog Lady,

I got divorced a couple of years ago. My two kids are off living their own lives. I’m home with the dog, which is fine because I love my dog, Scruffy. He’s a great companion. But dogs are fine as far as they go. I can’t imagine that I’ll never be in love again, or kiss again, or share my mind, body and soul again.

I was shattered after my marriage tanked. But I’ve done the necessary emotional and physical repair work. Now, I want to meet people. I’ve asked friends to fix me up and have been going out. So far, it’s been pretty discouraging. Seems that whenever I talk about my dog, my date’s face glazes over. I’m wondering if these men imagine I’m a lonely, eccentric woman who’s substituting canine affection for human love. What do you think? In the dating game, should I pretend I don’t have a dog?

Bella, Los Angeles

Hubby Dotty For Doggy

Dear Dog Lady,

My best friend's new husband seems obsessed with his two year old Golden Retriever, Dottie. Is this possible?

My friend has severe allergies and asthma and her new hubby is unwilling to move his pet outside or give her to another family. I don't mean to pry but it seems odd that he dotes on his dog, but his new wife is suffering. It’s as if he is using his dog as a crutch to avoid discussing these things with her. He accuses my friend of hating Dottie, and he is no longer sleeping in the same room as my friend. Of course, he's still letting Dottie sleep in the bed and the dog has the run of the house.

My friend is a beautiful, intelligent, funny woman, but her husband says she is being inconsiderate of his feelings. Is he being a brat? Or am I just taking sides?

Josephine, Amarillo, TX

Puppies for Ex-Mas

Dear Dog Lady,

I once read an item in a magazine that singer Billy Joel gave his ex-girlfriend, an unusual gift. Joel surprised the ex with a pug puppy to replace her deceased Lola, a dog whom Joel was quite fond. Joel even wrote “Waltz #3 (For Lola)” on his classical album in honor of the dog.
Enough gossip, here’s the question: Should I get my ex-girlfriend a puppy for Christmas? Her dog died a year ago and our relationship went belly up soon after. We remain distantly friendly. I’d like to rekindle the romance. Would the gift of a dog re-ignite the sparks?

-Ronald, Seattle, WA

Stinky Situation

Dear Dog Lady,

How many times do you need to walk a 65-pound dog? My boyfriend walks Stinky five times a day. On weekends, we can't be together for whole eight hours without him going home to walk the dog every three hours. He baby talks his dog, has a picture in his wallet, an oil painting hanging on the wall of his house. His house and his car have dog's hair all over and he just doesn’t care.

Even if he denied it, I feel his dog is his priority. She's 10-years-old now and they've been together for six years before we met. He said he's just taking care of a creature that is totally dependent to him. But I think he's taking the responsibility way too seriously. When she passes away, will he make me his priority? Isn't that unfair? I'm so confused already. I think he is obsessed with this dog and I want to break up with him. I'm not a dog lover and I don’t' think I can handle getting up every morning with dog's hair all around me if I move in. What shall I do?

Yanni, Cleveland, OH

Macy In the Middle

Dear Dog Lady,

My husband and I separated three weeks ago after 10 years of marriage. It was his idea. I was shocked and devastated. We have a 15-month-old Portuguese water dog named Macy. I was unable to have children so Macy is like a child to both of us.

Since my husband left, Macy is very nervous and uneasy. She has become my shadow and will not leave my side. She’s now timid around people she always loved seeing. When my mom reached over to pet her, she ducked behind me like she was scared.

Macy's behavior since my husband left saddens me deeply. I feel so bad when I see her act this way that I just want to cry. It breaks my heart. I have had good days and bad days. On my bad days I do get upset and cry.

Do you know why Macy has become so nervous around everyone? Will she ever go back to being her old self? I would love my husband to still be able to see her because we both love her, but will this be too hard on her?

Amy, Phoenix, AZ

Dog Show Couture

Dear Dog Lady,

My husband Dan is a partner in a big law firm and recently the firm had its annual black-tie dinner at which all spouses were expected to attend. I went to Lord & Taylor and bought a long skirt and evening jacket decorated with sparkles. I thought the outfit looked pretty hot, but my husband thought otherwise.

On the night of the dinner, I decided to surprise him with my new outfit. I closed the door to our bedroom while I dressed, allowing Duffy, our Norwich terrier, to watch me get all gussied up. When I was ready, I called out to Dan, opened the bedroom door, and Duffy and I paraded out. Imagine my surprise when my husband laughed.

My stomach sank. “Why are you laughing?” I asked. “Because that outfit makes you look like a dog show judge,” he said. After the initial shock of his reaction, I have to admit I started giggling too. I skipped around the living room with Duffy while my husband applauded and hooted, “Best in show!” We ended up having a good time at the dinner. He later told me I looked very pretty.

But his comment made me wonder: Why are professional dog people so dowdy?

Anna, Bedford Hills, NY

Just Say No

Dear Dog Lady,

When I went away on a business trip for three days, all my husband had to do was walk our 13-year-old Sparky and give the dog a liver pill two times a day. Sparky has been on the medication for three years. I usually take care of giving it to him.

On my first day away, my husband called me in a panic saying Sparky wouldn’t walk and would only do his business in one place. On my second day away, things seemed to be getting worse. My husband said Spark was listless, fading and sleeping constantly. He thought Sparky was dying. Far away and helpless, I was hysterical to get home. I blubbered in front of my boss who was very understanding. I explained I had my dog long before I married my husband.

Finally, I got home and raced into the house. Sparky was a heap in the hallway. My husband was frantic because the dog hadn’t moved in 24 hours. I quickly discovered the problem. My husband hadn’t put on his glasses when he dispensed medication. He was giving Ambien sleeping tablets to the dog instead of the liver pills. We raced Sparky to the vet where we were scolded severely. A detoxed Sparky is now making a comeback, but I have not forgiven my husband for his carelessness.

Can this marriage be saved?

Joan, Brooklyn, NY

Scenes From A Marriage

Dear Dog Lady,

I grew up with dogs being my best friends. I pity the people who do not know, and do not understand the love that dogs can bring into our lives. My wife is one of those people I pity. She can see a sleeping puppy and want to leave the room. In her defense, she witnessed a severe dog attack on a man when she was a child and never recovered.

For almost six years I have told her that I will have a dog when our living situation permits. That time has finally arrived, and, although I want to be sensitive to her feelings, I can no longer rob myself of canine companionship. I have been researching loads on the Internet on how to help make this a comfortable transition for all of us, but I feel some guidance from Dog Lady might point me in the right direction. So far I have not convinced her to try counseling with me, and I figure I cannot help her alone with such a traumatic experience. How often have you heard success stories of people in our situation? Am I being selfish?

Damian, New York, NY

Dog Fight

Dear Dog Lady,

Me and my husband recently divorced and are in the process of a big custody battle over our daughter. Before we separated, he had purchased a dog for my daughter as her pet. Now that we are fighting, he has decided to take the dog away to spite me (which devastated my kids). What I want to know is there anything I can do legally to get the dog back. The bill of sale is in his name but the dog is papered in my daughter’s name and she is the owner. But what can I do? Any information would help me greatly.

Heidi, Butte, MT

Pooches Don't Like Smooches

Dear Dog Lady,

When my boyfriend moves in to kiss me both of my dogs go crazy and jump on the both of us until we move apart. I know it's not him because they have always done this. Help. I would like to kiss my boyfriend without being jumped on or barked at.

Liz, San Francisco, CA

Hair of the Dog

Dear Dog Lady,

I have a wonderful boyfriend who owns a wonderful Golden Retriever. I love the boy and the dog, but she sheds a lot and I find it unclean to have her in our bed. My boyfriend is so used to sleeping with the dog and he’s become accustomed to having her fur all over the place. I just can’t stand it. I always wake up with dog hair in my mouth. Is it as unsanitary? Or should I shut up and stop complaining?

Jocelyn, Peabody, MA

The Six-Year Itch

Dear Dog Lady,

I feel like I'm trapped in an old marriage with my dog. I'm bored.

Things used to be exciting when Ollie, a Cairn terrier, was a puppy. The world was new for both of us. I had never owned a dog before. There was a world of discovery out there for both of us. We loved our walks, our games, our times. Those were the good old days. After six years, we seem to have settled into a dull routine.

On our walks, I grow impatient and yank his leash when he pokes along. I am weary of, his unwavering obsessions with squirrels and squeaky toys. He mentally tires me out with all his bristling terrier intensity and obstinacy.

In bed, I like to read a magazine or watch TV and ignore him. But Ollie nudges my hand with his nose until I give him a lackluster belly rub. Before I roll over and go to sleep, I ease him off my bed and onto his own bed, which sits on the floor next to mine. I used to let him stay on my bed all night.

Please, Dog Lady, don't think me heartless. Ollie is a great dog. I can never imagine giving him up. I figure we're stuck together for the duration. But how can I revive the relationship?

Felicia, San Francisco, Calif.

Freedom Poodle

Dear Dog Lady,

I sense unease between my new boyfriend (a retired rear admiral) and my miniature French poodle, Peewee (child of a previous marriage). The admiral has begun to refer to Peewee as “freedom poodle.” He is suggesting that Peewee get a crew cut because he claims he’s seen other “freedom poodles” with close crops. The buzz-cut issue I can handle, but “freedom poodle” is beginning to wear me down. What does this say about my budding alliance with the rear admiral?

Ellen, Massachusetts

Men are dogs?

Dear Dog Lady,

I’ve been stumbling around in the dating scene, hoping to trip over my one true love. A friend suggested I try the Internet since I was having trouble meeting men in the real world. I signed on to Match.com and immediately began an email exchange with a man who claimed to be divorced and have an important job at a downtown Boston retail store. He said he lived in a tony town on the South Shore and pitched me the line that he loved to walk along the beach. He described himself as a briny romantic. “I have the whaler in my soul,” he wrote in an email. He sent me his picture. He didn’t look like a whale. So I met him.

Dog Lady, I thought we had a fabulous time. We talked easily. He grabbed my hand and hugged me. He walked me home and kissed me. He asked to see me again and promised he’d call soon. That was a month ago. I still haven’t heard from him.

Is it true all men are dogs?

Joan, St. Botolph St.

No dogs in my bed

Dear Dog Lady,

I finally have the opportunity to share my life with a wonderful woman, Stephanie. She’s pretty, kind, smart and claims to like dogs. She just doesn’t want them in the bed -- or in the bedroom. Unfortunately, this means Ruffles – my excitable Afghan/poodle mix -- has to find somewhere else to sleep whenever Stephanie stays over. Because Ruffles and I have been sharing the covers for years before I met Stephanie, I find it hard to shut out the dog. Ruffles whines at the bedroom door. I don’t want to be the man in the middle. Help!

- Andy, Jupiter, Fla.

Dating Doghouse

Dear Dog Lady,

I know this sounds crazy but I judge my dates by how well they treat my dog.

Let’s see, there was Tom. He got miffed when I cooed endearing nicknames to my darling pooch Cleo. And, lo, the shaky alliance lasted 13 dates. Then there was Bob. He pretended to like my dog by stiffly petting her behind the ears for a few seconds each time he came to pick me up. But he banned Cleo from the bed, the sofa, or any reclining surface where Bob was inclined to recline -- even though it was my house. The relationship lasted 8 months.

Am I too unyielding and unromantic in these matters? Does Cleo’s opinion count?

- Sarah, Boston, MA.